I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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