im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
