we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
