well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
