Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
