i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
