I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize