is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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