Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
