people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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