when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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