This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
