from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
