i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do vagina's smell?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
