Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
