things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
