That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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