this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
