She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
