I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
