why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
