He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
