I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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