the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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