Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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