butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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