We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
