READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
