Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
