Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
