So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
