Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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