i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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