I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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