i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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