Jerry, you need to find god
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
NoShamevember. You game?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
