My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
accomplished twins. life is a go
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
