So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Randomize
