i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
