Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Randomize
