Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
