So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
