You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
