Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
it glows. i had to have it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
