i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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