"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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