what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
