Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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