She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
