he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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