how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
