legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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