you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
