the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize