how can u be prego again
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
