he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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