So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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