perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize