the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
