I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
