hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Randomize
