What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
