i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
