The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
