The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
