My room smells like vodka and shame
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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