Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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